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This is in fun and hasn't very much to do with real Christian beliefs.

Jesus is a demonic teacher who tries to lure the faithful by promises of of granduer if one follows his teachings, and promises of pain and torture if one does not follow him. Jesus was the son of two people named Joseph and Mary who magically bore a child without having sex. He tried to build an army of peasants but was quickly killed by the Romans to preserve peace amongst the world.


Early Life

When jesus was about eight, he learned that he could influence other people with his magic and either corrupt or heal them. A year later he was found by priests who saught to use this gift for their own benefit and locked him up in the dungeons below the chapel. When his parents noticed that he did not come back home they went searching for him, but could not seem to find him.

During the time jesus was trapped in the dungeon he was taught how to use the sword, mixed martial arts, and how to manipulate energy. Jesus already learning how to use his powers he began to become stronger and it was here where he first witnessed the rage that lived inside him.


Battle and War

When jesus was eighteen he was sent to battle to put down some peasants who were starting an uprising against the church, for keeping all the food for themselves. Jesus was tasked to kill the peasant leader and bring to the high priest his head. Jesus was a master tactician as well as a master swordsman and the peasant rebellion was put to rest and the leader of the rebellion was beheaded and brought before the high priest.

At this point jesus wanted a real battle and so the Roman army asked the church to aid in the defense of a fort that was currently under the control of Rome. The church declined but Jesus went anyway despite the church and helped the Roman army.

Tha simple battle of protecting the fort was quick and easy. Jesus slew every enemy peasant that got in his way and reports by some of the roman legionaires quote "Jesus was a madman often hollering and mimicking screams of a monkey, no one dared to speak with him." The battle was won, but the war was just beginning.

Adapted from here

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